Reflect Fail
by XxHeartlessKissxX
Summary: Light has kept his secret throughout the Kira case, as Near arrives to unravel it he finds himself all to willing to let it spill from his lips, because he made a promise, all that time ago. Implied LXLight.


**L**: Light-kun is Kira.

**Mello**: No doubt about that.

**Matt:** Not the point, even though we know that a-

**Light**: OKAY! I'm Kira, we get it…She doesn't own the rights to Death Note!

**Near**: Light I suggest you take this *hands him pill*

**A/N:** Idea from page 54 Death Note volume 12 panels 2,3&4

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><p><em>Reflection<em>

**~Light~**

Near was finally going to remove his mask, though he could have left it on for longer that was fine, so long as it was off when Mikami looked in.

I watched, only mildly interested in how my newest opponent in L and I's battle looked, the drawing showed a serious child but I doubted captured him as he was.

As he slid off L's mask I felt something lighten in me, good I didn't have to look at it anymore, to be reminded of my one great failure, of the biggest sacrifice I'd made to my cause.

He looked at us without the cover for the first time and I felt a flutter in my chest, he looked so much like Ryuzaki that if I mentally changed the hair to black he could've been a mirror image.

The second he smiled, a tiny adorable spreading of his lips I had to lock myself in place, my heart giving a squeeze in my chest as it stopped for just a moment and I finally understood something that L had ask of me in the weeks before his death.

I stepped forward and knelt on the floor before the white-haired menace, "Near…I know that you are L's heir, but did he ever call you his child?"

He seemed uncertain about my line of questioning, confused, I had broken from the routine, from both of our plans. His large grey eyes, so much like L's, blinked and finally he answered me.

"I wouldn't know. We never met L and when we did speak it was always about or studies or a case, certainly he seemed to care about us in a somewhat fatherly manner."

Near's answer wasn't exactly…welcomed, but I had made a promise, one of few that I was determined to keep. I took a deep breath as I looked around at the investigators there, realizing that what I was about to do would probably get me shot.

I threw my arms around the smaller boy, hugging him as I hurriedly murmured, "I promised L I wouldn't harm his children, it was the one thing he asked of me before his death and the one thing I agreed to. I am Kira, you take your proof today, but promise me that you'll listen to the real story of what happened to L."

He was rigid at first but as I spoke tried to look less like he was rejecting it, when he didn't push me away immediately no one came forward to remove me so I had time still, "Just promise me that…and I'll make sure you don't die."

I stepped away, ignoring the looks from his side and the rather annoying sound of Matsuda carrying on about "_you shouldn't have done that! Now he'll never…" _

Near looked me over for a long moment, "Fine Light Yagami, I agree, but no one is going to die." He detailed his plan for us then, explaining the fake part of the notebook he switched out and I twitched, my plans had gone to well, there was no way for him to know that Mikami's notebook was fake to begin with.

More time passed and finally I addressed Mikami, watching him come in and feeling relieved when no one died, ironic seeing how it had been my plan that had failed. Mikami was in a panic and my team was staring at me in horror, but I was focused on Near as I extended my hands for the cuffs.

A dissatisfied expression crossed his features, just a flash of it that I'm sure no one else caught, but I'd gotten used to reading L all those years ago so this boy was not a challenge.

I smirked a bit, "Not a perfect victory, but then again, you can't have everything, trying to win so beautifully." He continued to stare at me but I saw the hint of a frown at my words, obviously I'd struck a nerve.

He came out after I'd been loaded in a car and sat beside me in the back, playing with his finger puppets, "You broke your promise. Mello is dead. Matt is dead."

My brow furrowed, "Matt?"

He gave me a look bordering on amused, "Kira didn't have to write his name, your followers took care of him for Kira. The young man who fired the smoke bomb, who was shot to death by Takada's guards. He was L's child to."

I looked at my hands, feeling my throat tightened, "So I failed even in that….Mello to?" I forced my gaze back to him, Near seemed…perturbed at my reaction to his words.

"Yes. I was first in line to succeed him, Mello was second, Matt was third…or more appropriately Mello and I were tied and Matt was second, he didn't much care for the job and L never choose between Mello and myself." He seemed completely indifferent to their deaths, it bothered me.

"Oh…you don't seem to care that their dead." I didn't mean to say it that bluntly but I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to offend the pale child if I tried.

Near twirled a lock of hair around his finger, "Mello was always reckless, I'm surprised he lived as long as he did…Matt certainly had something to do with him surviving childhood and I always knew that once one of them died the other would follow shortly after, by their own hand or another's."

I nodded slowly, "So they were close?" I had a suspicion but I didn't want to be to presumptuous.

"Very, at first they didn't talk much, then they became best friends and just before Mello left started to develop a deeper relationship, I believe at the time of their deaths they only had one another and were lovers." He still spoke in a monotone but I could detect an undercurrent of what seemed to be jealousy in his voice.

"Ah….well it's better, I suppose, that they died together….though I failed L." I looked out the window for a long moment before Near's voice brought me back down to reality.

"Kira mentioned something about 'the real story of what happened to L' before?" He actually looked curious now and I nodded, sighing softly for what must've been the hundredth time that day.

"I'm not going to explain the full story of how it happened but L and I became close, we were very alike, our minds and our ideals despite having a few key differences in how those ideals should be achieved and eventually we developed a physical relationship." I paused as memories flooded me, images of L when it was just the two of us (and Watari who was a constant presence in L's life) the way he would smile slightly or the mask would slip and he'd laugh at me.

Near shifted slightly and I cleared my throat and continued, "Anyways, I had lost my memories of being Kira at one point and after I regained them I was faced with a terrible choice, give up my love or stop cleansing the world in the end I-"

"Gave up your love." He cut me off, his eyes suddenly accusing before he blanked his face again, "I apologize, please continue."

I shook my head slowly, "No, I choose to give up the note, to stop being Kira. I told him my final plan to kill him, I told him everything and he made plans to close the investigation, but not with me and I had made the mistake of leaving out Rem, Misa's shinigami, in my explanation. I realized this but it was too late when I did and I walked into the room to tell him as he watched Watari dying on screen. I tried to yell for Rem to stop but she couldn't hear me, she was dissolving you see, killing Watari extended Misa's life and ended hers. She had time to write L's name in her note and I held him as he died, he made me promise then and after I lost him there was nothing to stop me from continuing on as Kira and in time I convinced myself that it was all according to some plan of mine."

I stopped and looked at him then, his face betrayed nothing and I returned my gaze to the window only to see Ryuk holding his death note and writing quickly before holding it up to show me my name. I turned back to Near, "Well, no prison for me. I'm going to die."

He looked at the writing and back at me, twirling his hair still, apparently uncaring, "You'll be buried in an unmarked grave." I gave him a pleading look as my chest throbbed, "Next to L?"

A too long moment of silence passed and the world was going black, I barely heard his answering, "Yes." Before falling against the seat…

And I smiled.

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><p><strong>AN:** Talk about a long one…not to mention horrid writing, I mean really XD Anyways, if you darlings could do me a solid and review with what you think of this one I'll give you all some smut in the next one. *Bribe bribe bribe bribe…*


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